Part of the beauty of being a graphic designer is never signing your work.There’s safety in never having to admit to having designed a horse food coupon, or a lingerie site for Russian mail order brides…both of which I can say are unfortunately in my list of things I’ve had to design as a new designer– but neither are anywhere to be found in my portfolio. On the flip side, when design projects were large- or visible– on billboards, trucks, in the grocery store, at Disneyworld etc, I could quietly appreciate the scope of the work I’d done without any fancy extra attention. To this day, I still get excited to see logos I’ve designed while out and about. But I’m forever thankful my name isn’t attached. Too much fanfare. No reason for all that.
So, in designing Moxie’s website and creating the look I’d envisioned, I kind of had to put myself into it- and it’s pretty uncomfortable territory for me. I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to fly below the radar- trying to blend in and work behind the scenes. My husband LOVES to be the center of attention, and we temper one another in that he pulls me out of my shell a bit and I try to stuff him back into his. He’s the one that made me march down to the beach and film the video (which I haven’t watched because it’s ridiculously uncomfortable for me to be in front of the camera…) I took a leap of faith in believing him that I should include an explanation of where this all came from in order for it to resonate to others. I’m a tired mom that takes care of everyone else and I need to put myself first more often– and you should as well.
Yesterday was launch day and it sent me into happy tears at every comment, like and share. I had no idea the response would be this positive. It was enough goodness that I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I’m used to constant rounds of changes and corrections to my work and criticism is a space I know well. But, positivity? WTH do I do with this? This morning, after responding to orders and securing more cool MoxieBox contents, I crawled back into bed with a headache. I spent an hour under the covers wondering “Oh no! What now?! What if I mess it up? I’m not sure I’ve got this!”. My old pal, anxiety, reminded me that we’re not into attention and that failure is always an option. I’ve been thinking up this project for a while now and sometimes in my head it sounds right but I can guarantee my brain can’t always be trusted to let only good things come out of my mouth… I have plenty of witnesses to attest to that.
I got myself up and sat in the sunshine for a bit (I’m pretty sure I’m solar powered) and the anxiety melted away and the new ideas on what more to add, new charities to contact, products to include kept coming. And I realized that the goodness and warmth is coming from you all- and it’s amazing. Many of you have inspired me, believed in me, offered wisdom, criticism or care at the precise moment I needed it and I owe you nothing less than the best. I’m so excited to share everything in store for Moxie all at once in a typical Becca/ADHD-feuled/word-soup of ideas. But, since I’m going to at least try to appear to be a grown-up, I’ll reveal the cool stuff that’s coming a little at a time. But it clicked- this isn’t about attention for me that I need to manage or self-deprecate – it’s about tapping into a vein of energy that resonates with lots of people. Maybe I was onto something and yes, we all needed this right now. The world isn’t in the best shape, my city has seen better days, and politics, well, I’ll stay out of that. We all need some Moxie to push through together, so it’s my job to listen to that energy and throw as much glitter and and unicorn farts into it as possible in an effort to make sure you’re all feeling good during this journey.
I’m excited about your interest and excitement- and I want it to continue. I want you all to share what makes you feel connected and nurtured. Don’t worry, I’m enough of a realist to not always sounds like a Successories poster or a saccharine-sweet optimist… but I’ve found that there is something to letting go of negative stuff, to welcoming connection and empowerment. It seems pretty cool so far… and it’s even easier to give to oneself if you feel like you’re also giving back or helping out in some way. Winter Zen features a local product that’s made by disabled people that are being paid full wages. They’re not working in a workshop for a small amount of pay or as volunteers- they’re providing actual work and are being paid fair wages because they deserve it. I love that about this company. Tomorrow I’ll pick up these goodies and they’ll be put into boxes shortly! And there are more things like this to come- I can’t wait to share them with you. Have an awesome day today- and get some sunshine… I hear it’s good for you.