The politics and news lately have been anxiety-producing; most especially as a woman in the USA. The social media chatter has been exactly that for many: chatter. It’s become too much; a near constant onslaught of heightened emotions and preconceptions, and pain from past experiences that have come to a head and feel like a wound that won’t heal. People seem ready to battle- to take sides.
What if we didn’t take sides? What if we all worked together? I realized this weekend when a comment I had made was interpreted in the opposite manner I’d intended, that I was part of it too. That I’m responsible for keeping my words kind, digestible; regardless of the pain I’ve received in the past or the cause I feel I need to protect. I can only be responsible for myself. That’s it. This doesn’t mean that you let your guard down or allow people to walk away from you… boundaries are very much healthy and important for everyone to maintain. But, I still need to own my actions and words- to stand up for them and be careful about what I put out there so it can’t be used against me. I deleted the comment, made mental note of the lesson I’d learned and want to move on. But, realizing my presence in the exchange made me a part of it, I could finally make sense of how I needed to control that presence. In my case, less is more- I need to say more with less. I only own the legacy I’m leaving behind… but in doing so, I really have to own it and ACT instead of REACT.
This morning, I woke with a migraine at 4am, forgot to get my oldest up at 5:30 and was blamed for her being late (despite that she has her own alarm and could have taken responsibility to set it herself). She became upset at me- I calmly interrupted her and reminded her it’s frustrating but it’s her reaction that will determine HER day. I told her to adapt and overcome– to fix and own what was necessary and move on. She seemed to soften and relax at this; realizing her anxiety was being created solely by her own reactions (and overreactions). Thankfully that worked because I was out of other ideas… but it worked most for me in that instance. I own my reactions, I can direct how they’re going to be presented and I can have major influence on their outcome if I approach it the right way. I had enough in me to do all that.
Just like we all have enough in us to do the same. Maybe we can all collectively help one another in this manner? I sure hope so.
I hope you’re well. That you’re feeling supported and loved and worthy. Because: you’re more than enough.